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That script played out 9 times thus far! It goes further than this. We have never had true emotional and sexual intimacy together. Through counseling and a lot of reading and introspection, we found that nothing is "free" and without consequences. Promiscuous sexual pasts proportionately damage eventually marital relationships with each act of uncommitted sex. So let me tell you that it isn't as simple as "enjoy" and "sow your wild oats, no one is getting hurt" as many seem to want to espouse. It has long lasting effects that damage intimacy with one's eventual life partner. I have lived with a stunted relationship of sexual intimacy for 25 years and I did nothing to cause it whatsoever. I am paying the the price for her irresponsible and cavalier attitude towards sex that happened before I even met her. And because she lied when we discussed it (9 times spanning 25 years), I didn't have the opportunity to consider whether I was willing to continue or not with the consequences looming that have completely killed intimacy for us. I love her dearly and she is the love of my life but I had hopes and dreams as to how my marital life would be. It hasn't been close to that dream and I am pissed about it (I never berate her or make her feel badly about this or anything else). The most irresponsible thing anyone could think and act upon is the most definitely erroneous belief that no one is hurt if no STD is contracted. I would exchange our issue for every STD simultaneously (yes, included HIV) if it would repair the emotional damage. I hope people wake up and stop making it about a double-standard. That is just crap compared to the damage promiscuous sex causes. 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